Frogster |
The strange thing is, he seems to share my routine fairly
precisely. In the morning when I get up,
he stands waiting in the corner of the shower and since I gave him a little
wash on the first day, I’ve subsequently found it hard to break the habit. I’m very careful to keep the shampoo away from
him and just give him a douse with water but he seems pretty happy to have a
little splash around. I’ve been trying
to ignore the fact that it seems strangely intimate to be having a shower with
a frog and I try not to catch his bulgy eyes in case I see embarrassment. He has oddly expressive eyes.
Last week there were some other frogs in the house. They were more gregarious, bigger, bouncier
and generally wanted to make a mischief of themselves, whereas Frogster moves
about the house calmly, following his set routine. They were all in the bathroom with the toilet
in it and the interlopers were leaping around the place in time honoured,
springy-legged fashion. Frogster looked
at me in disappointment, like he’d hoped we’d all get on but had woefully
misjudged the situation. Then he slunk
off to the corner of the room, away from the yellow skinned high jinks of his
oafish compatriots.
N.B I am a normal sized person |
Later that night, I got up to go to the loo and found one of
the guest frogs actually swimming in the toilet bowl, which caused a bit of
a kerfuffle. I won’t go into too much
detail but rest assured I did not piss on a frog.
In the evenings, Frogster has his dinner about the same time
as I do and he sits catching bugs in the kitchen while I cook. I chat amiably about my day and try to offer
him some suggestions for more fertile bug hunting grounds but he largely
ignores me. If anything, he’s a bit
arrogant.
Now though, we come on to my problem. I can’t decide if Frogster is real or if I’m
having an existential crisis brought on by spending too much time alone. I’ve looked him up on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banded_bull_frog
and he seems to be a banded bull frog, or Kalula pulchra if you’re
feeling a bit fancy pants. All of his
habits seem to fit but if I was imagining a frog companion, there’s no reason
to suggest I wouldn’t get the species characteristics correct.
I’ve had this problem before. When I first moved to Dublin, my hair turned
green and I thought it was a psychosomatic effect of having a tough time
adjusting. To my great relief, it was
confirmed by the local hairdresser to be an interaction between the water,
pipes and the huge amounts of bleach I had in my hair and was easily remedied
with a darker tint. This leaves me
hopeful that the frog thing will turn out the same. Obviously not exactly the same, although the
high levels of chlorine in the tap water here does leave my skin a bit itchy
and I’m worried about the impact this will have on Frogster’s skin. At least he definitely started out being
green. Perhaps I need to start spending more time with people.
To prove I have other interests |
Talking of which, my sister is coming to stay next week, so
I can get a definitive answer on his existence, or not, as the case may
be. The same sister once knew a cat that
looked like a leopard and would only ever visit her in times of need, so
perhaps she’s not the best judge. Or it
could be that as a family we give off strong, animal attracting pheromones when
we’re lonely or distressed. Once, when I
stayed at her flat, some sparrows kept tapping on the window every five minutes
and it was absolutely terrifying; like living in a Hitchcock film, so perhaps
the simpatico doesn’t extend to avian species.
I know I’ve included pictures of Frogster in the blog post
but I don’t think they’re conclusive enough.
I mean, there are pictures of Nessie and faeries, so I don’t think we
can rely on photographic evidence alone and I have no way of checking if what I
can see in the pictures is the same as what other can see or if there is some
kind of ‘Back to the Future’ style fading mechanism built into Windows. Maybe it’s on Windows 8 and I should upgrade
for a full expose of my mental health.
In other news this month, I visited and socialised with human friends, watched some fireworks and boat racing, saw a football tournament, harvested rice, designed a greenhouse, applied for some project funding, tested some soil samples, fixed my motorbike and more but I think the frog thing is probably more interesting.
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